Call me crazy, but I cannot stand my own gender. I think for the most part we are a snobby, selfish, hypocritical bunch of indecisive backstabbers. Women are totally inhumane to other women. I have had maybe 4 close female friends in my lifetime. There are very few women that I enjoy being around. Just today I attended a long day of parent involvement at my children's school ( I have boy/girl twins in Kindergarten and a boy in 2nd grade). This is our first year at this school so I know a...
Kids can give whole new meanings to ordinary words, creating extraordinary laughs. My parents live about 300 miles from us, but come to visit quite often as my father travels weekly for his business. My parents usually stay in a hotel considering we have a houseful of 5. During the summer months, usually the kids take turns staying the night at the hotel with my parents. On their last visit, my six year old son asked, "Can I stay at the ho an' tell? We all bowled over laughing! I s...
I think this is so sad...and funny. Because as Eddie Izzard says, "When you die, you look a mess!" Oddly Enough - Reuters A New Wrinkle in Christmas Gifts Thu Nov 4, 9:33 AM ET Oddly Enough - Reuters By Mohammed Abbas LONDON (Reuters) - If larger breasts, fuller lips and fewer wrinkles are on the Christmas wish list, cosmetic surgery gift vouchers could be the answer. The number of Britons going under the knife for finer features has rocketed this yea...
Ok, I have a quagmire. Not quite a quagmire of the Iraq war proportion, but hefty for my microcosmic world. I have one of those night guard thingies that keep me from grinding my teeth; I think someone else (Texas?) wrote about the expense of these "gadgets." Anyway, my 8 year old son saw mine on the bathroom counter and decided to pull both sides of it like a wishbone to see what happens. IT BROKE! (When asked why he did this, he responded, "Because I didn't think Mom needed it anymore." Whe...
Recently Time magazine ran a cover story and article titled, "The God Gene." In the article, a quiz was posted that supposedly helps one determine how spiritual they may be. I found out I was "spiritually average." Certainly not the outcome I expected. While I do not necessarily agree with the questions asked determining spirituality, I thought it would be interesting to see how my fellow JU's rated on this quiz. Quiz: How Spiritual Are You? To find out, take this test, which...
a recent ruling by the National Transportation Safety Board to require electronic data recorders or "black boxes" in all new cars manufactured in the United States. Owners also have no legal protections to keep them from being forced to hand over that information to another party if a court order demanded it. Call me crazy, but I am not going to buy another American made car as long as this practice is in place. I don't want anyone knowing when I use my brakes, seatbelt, how fa...
As most of you know, I am a conservative, but in the spirit of equal opportunity criticism, I have to expose the stupidity of some people in the Christian community and unfortunately Texas. It seems a school in Spurger, TX had a tradition of a dress up day called, "TWIRP Day." (The Woman Is Requested To Pay) On this day, boys dressed as girls, and girls dressed as boys. It was a role-reversal day of fun where girls asked the boys for dates. Enter Liberty Legal Institute, a right-wing Ch...
The clever conniving began around 9am. Evil Genius (J.J.-the kid next door) was the mastermind behind the scheme. Mom and Dad's children were co-conspirators, all to eager to carry out the hijacking. Evil genius signaled Oldest Son through the window to open the front door. Ringing the doorbell would have immediately alerted the unsuspecting, drowsy parents who had not yet sipped the morning caffeinated nectar. In hushed voices, the terrorist children plotted the demise of the typical rela...
On Thanksgiving Day, my family (all five of us) are expected at my in-laws house at 1pm for lunch. Here's what the day will look like. My alarm will buzz at 8 am. It will buzz, but I will not get up. Eventually, the kids will complain about starvation prompting me to stumble into the kitchen, put on a pot of coffee (priorities), pour juice and take breakfast orders. My husband says I run a short order kitchen. He thinks I am a pushover for making three different meals for breakfast. I thin...
We have a pet parakeet named, Druscilla, or Drew for short. We named her after a character on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." For any of those that never watched the show, Spike and Druscilla were evil vampire mates. Drew had a mate in our house too named, Spike. Now before anyone reads the title, my first paragraph, and pronounces me an evil animal hater, I beg you to read on. We have had 4 parakeets over the years; three of which we loved. Druscilla will be the last parakeet we ever claim as...
Hi guys and girls, it's your favorite deadzombie posting for his beautiful wife, iamheather. 'Heather' was trying to kill our pet bird last night when she pinched a nerve in her back, probably awakening one of her old dance injuries (didnt you know professional dance was a brutal, cut-throat profession?). Actually, she pinched it making sandwiches. Can you feel the mystery of life at work here? She's in intolerable pain right now, laid up in bed. The nerve is right at the base of her neck, so...
Ok, well a couple of people asked if I would post some pics. Can't post any of Zombie....he has an image of black evilness to uphold (or so he says) So here is the unflattering truth of me and the flattering truth of my children...... The Twins Jakob and Rachel Princess Rachel Handsome Jakob Joshua ""
Call me crazy, but I prefer active research. What is active vs. passive research? Well in the words of my favorite comedian Eddie Izzard "Active research is exploring and discovering. Passive research is when you let the research come to you." (ex. through the TV like The History Channel, A&E, or The Science Channel) The other day as I was driving my son to school in the morning, I saw a dead possum (we live in a heavily wooded area). This possum was not marred or disfigured in any way; ...
As everyone already knows, during this last election, exit polls showed that 20% of voters cited "moral values" as their top concern. "Desperate Housewives" is currently the #1 rated show in prime time television. Does this dichotomy make Americans hypocrites? Can you be a highly moral person and enjoy a show like "Desperate Housewives?" Maybe, there is no hypocrasy. Do people concerned with "moral values" also enjoy the entertainment value of "Desperate Housewives?" Is the issue s...
Recently, Taget retail stores imposed a nation wide ban on the traditional holiday bell ringers of the Salvation Army. Even as a child, I adored these bell ringers with their red buckets. I remember feeling like they were somehow a part of Santa's helpers. Today, I always give my children some money to put into the red bucket. I take the opportunity to explain to them the meaning of charity. During a holiday season, when it is so easy to get caught up with the "I want, I want, I want," the...